What do we do for entertainment in 'inaka'?

This is the shortest post I've ever made and probably will ever make. I just wanted to share the glory of this YouTube video. If you don't know what YouTube is, don't worry. It just means that you probably don't have a computer. If you DO have a computer and don't know what YouTube is, then you have to come out from under your rock and evolve with the rest of the Internet humanity. "YOU" were just named person of the year by Time magazine. This is almost entirely because of the emergence of self-broadcasting through tools like Blogger and YouTube. Just click the link and enjoy!

My Hands Are Bananas

As a special favor to Alyssa, I'm including this awesome video about the awesomeness of PowerPoint. It rocks and was made entirely with PowerPoint! As Alyssa says, "either you've sat through one of those presentations or you've made one yourself."

Power(Point) Ballad

"Beware the Milky Pirate"
Maikeru
:-)

The First Snow

We had a dusting of wet snow two weeks ago, which was fun, but since I was standing in it, I didn't find it as enjoyable as I otherwise might have. Yesterday, however, I woke up, looked outside, and was surprised to find the entire town covered in a thin blanket of white. Large snowflakes fell past the windows and the bamboo swayed in the wind like giant white feather dusters. The snow kept falling all day long and right through the night. Getting out and driving was a bit hazardous, but otherwise there is nothing negative about the first snowfall of the season. It finally looks like Winter!

Usually in my blog I put some twist on the story or reveal something unfortunate or funny. This one, however, is just about the beauty of the first snowfall.

For some, the snow heralds different feelings. My JTE (Japanese Teacher of English) said that she didn't sleep well last night. I asked her why. She explained to me that this was her first year at this school and had never driven in the mountain snow before. Where she lives down near the coast, they don't see much snow and it disappears quickly. I feel badly for her and worry about the stress that the snow is causing her. Anyway, she'll have to get used to it. Last year, Tombara received almost 6 feet of snow in one monster snowfall. This year might not be as bad, but we have prepare the worst.

Stay warm,
Maikeru
:-)

Which Title: "Should I See the Doctor?" or "A Big Ass Shot"

I woke up this morning to find myself pretty sick. Work was still an option because it was just a foggy head and a sore throat, but had potential to get worse. Back home in America, I would normally stay home and rest so that I could get better faster. All one needs to do, normally, is pick up the phone and make a few calls, then stay at home and eat soup all day. In Japan, things are, of course, a little different.

Here, under my current contract, I have no set number of sick days. I can take as many as I need. There has been some debate about this, but at worst, the contract offers a minimum of 20 days! That's a lot of sick time. Because there is no limit, people are expected not to abuse the system. Even though there is no provision for it in the contract, there is an understanding that if one calls out sick from work, then he/she must be sick enough to require a doctor. Since you're "supposed" to see a doctor when calling out, the doctor gives you a "note" to take to your boss excusing you from work for the day. This is all fine, but I'm an adult and have been sick enough to know when I'm too sick for work, when I should stay home and rest, what meds to take, what to eat, and when a doctor is necessary. Doctors in Japan are paid for by our public health care system, so it's not a matter of money. I just don't think that, at 30 years old, I should have to get a doctor's note for being absent. Sure, if I was out for a week or a month, I probably need some proof that I still deserve a paycheck, but not if I have a head cold for the afternoon or one day. If I FEEL sick with a cold, there is little to nothing that the doctor can determine just by looking at me.

Here is the real rub. Going to the doctor is not a pleasurable experience in Japan. It's not that great in America, either, but doctors compete for business there, so there is some desire to make the ordeal as painless as possible for the patient. Here in Japan, seeing the doctor means going to the hospital. You have to wait there for long periods of time before seeing the doctor. Then, there is a really good chance that he'll give you medicine. Well, at least medicine sounds good, right? Not unless you like the worst kind of medicine there is!

Now for a short aside... Most medicines are not legal in Japan. Pain medicines are mostly banned. There are very few over-the-counter drugs available that are worth a darn. Most of them are similar to the ones back home, but about 1/10th as effective. The Japanese like things to be bland. They don't like a lot of color, evidenced by every Japanese home I have had the pleasure of entering. They don't like their food to have too much flavor. Nearly all Japanese food is mild and easy on the palate. (I won't say anything about textures, however.) Finally, they don't like their medicines to be too strong. Don't know why.

So, when you're at the doctor, this is your chance to get some real medicine. It works. But, why is it the worst kind you ask? Because it comes in two forms. It's either an anal suppository, which I don't even want to think about, or a huge shot administered through a Macdonald's Straw to the buttocks (ie. "A Big Ass Shot"). Given these two LOVELY options, I figured it was best for me to come to work today. No need to get the people at school all worked up and worried out me, right? No need to bother the busy doctors with my petty problems. I can just go to work and shrug it off. ;-)

All I hope for is that by coming to work I haven't made myself sicker and eventually REQUIRE the doctors services. It would be such a shame to bother him.

Sickly Yours,
Maikeru
:-)

Let's Human Rights

My friends in Japan will understand the title of this blog immediately. For the rest, you may be wondering why my title is so strange. Please indulge me as I explain why.

In Japan, every year, they have a Human Rights Week and that week is now. About a month ago I received a letter asking me to participate in an event to "kick off" the week by handing out pamphlets and traveling around Iinan town. The letter was rather vague about expectations and/or requirements, so I figured that it would probably be no big deal. Of course, this is the stupidest assumption possible, given the plethora of ridiculous things I've been ask to do at the last minute.

Regardless, the schedule of events said that I should be at the town office at 9:00AM, Monday morning, so I made my entrance at the stroke of 9, not wanting to sit around any longer than necessary in the cold. Events ALWAYS start on time in Japan, so in retrospect, I should have arrived by at least 5 minutes 'til. Luckily, I wore a white shirt, tie, dress pants, a sweater, and a sport jacket, because when I walked in the door, it looked like everybody was waiting for me to arrive. Someone official-looking greeted me at the door and quickly ushered me into the mayor's office. As we walked to his office, someone threw a sash over my shoulder that distinctly reminded me of the kind that Miss America contestants wear. There in the mayor's office, 10 men and women stood around in suits and gave looks of relief that I was finally in the room. A television crew was set up in the corner filming everything. There was a round of handshakes and then a man that did not seem to be from Iinan handed me a business card and then started a speech. "Wait", I said to myself. "What is he saying?" The film was rolling the entire time as he produced an award certificate (all in Japanese Kanji, of course). He handed me the cert and said some more words (a lot more words, in fact).

Now, I've observed lots of students getting awards, so I just remembered what they did and copied it in this moment. Bowing at the proper moments. Using the correct hands to accept the paper. Saying the appropriate words. Suddenly, the mystery man who was bestowing the award upon me stopped. Everyone was looking at me. A man from across the room whispered something like "dozo", which, in this circumstance, roughly translates to "go ahead". The camera was pointing directly at me. There were at least 10 pairs of eyes just staring at me, waiting for the special speech I was going to give!

In such a state, after oversleeping and speeding to the town hall and having absolutely no warning about was was going to happen that morning, all I could eek out was a raspy "Gabarimasu," (I'll do my best). I didn't know what the certificate was for, why I was being asked to give a speech, what the sash over my shoulder meant, or who ANY of the people in the room were. I was there by myself as the sole English speaker with only "emergency level" Junior High School Japanese skills.

At that. I gave a nod and the meeting was adjurned. I hope I didn't disappoint the viewing audience too much, but if a speech was expected, there could have at least been some warning. My guess is that Monday night's Japanese local TV would be slow.

After all of the "rituals" were performed at the town hall, we spent the rest of the day driving around in a van with a giant speaker on top. The message it extolled was something about Jinken (Human Rights), but I couldn't really understand it. The people I was riding with couldn't explain it to me, either, since they possessed almost no English ability whatsoever. I don't blame them for not knowing English. I'm the guest in their country. But it did make for an interesting, and largely confusing, day.

Regularly, we would stop the van and hop out to take a pamphlet and an Akagi apple (Akagi is the original name for one of Iinan's villages) to a local businessperson. We stopped at 6 or so banks, the post office, a few nursing homes, and several of the schools. Around lunch time, we set up camp at the Michi no Eki (local rest stop for travelers). As people came in from the cold and the snow (yes, it was the first day of snow here in Iinan), we would accost them with phrases like "Jin ken shuu kan desu. Dozo." (It's Human Rights Week. Here you go) or "Jin ken o mamori masho!" (Let's observe Human Rights!).

'Masho' is an conspicuously common term in Japan and is the prefix for almost anything that people want to do together. Japanese translations rarely get it right, so almost everything in English here in Japan is "Let's skiing" or "Let's holiday" or "Let's Christmas". It's quite amusing and has become part of the average JET lexicon. We'll agree to meet for dinner and sign off the phone conversation with "Let's dinner! See you at 7." It makes me chuckle every time I hear it!

Anyway, that's all for now. Time to head home from school and figure out what's edible in my fridge. School lunch, although delicious today, wasn't really enough to satisfy me.

Sayonara,
Maikeru
:-)

Oh, one last thing... Today, I administered a conversation test to all of my students. One of the questions I asked was "Tell me about your hobbies." The response I heard from one student was "I have sex after school every day." WHAT?!" I said, completely floored and almost speechless! The student, looking sheepish and feeling silly, said "I'm sorry, I play sex after school." Wanting to see what he really meant, I asked what kind of sex. He said "sexophone in the brass band." Ahhhhh, now it's clear. I said, "I think you play a wonderful saxophone." This one will keep my laughing for a long while.